<spruance> your quotes page has been: _approved_
<MrA> HD DVD is officially dead.
<David> You're just being a player hater
- Samuel Atlan, David Stipp
(19 Feb 2008 GMT)
<spruance> why is it that crap-ass "adult dating" ads can use localization to tell me that there are GIRLS TO FUCK IN <insert your town>
<spruance> but no weather site can be bothered to automatically take me to my weather?
- Mark Notarus
(22 Jan 2008 GMT)
<meekay> Over Christmas vacation, I learned a very important lesson.
<meekay> Guitar Hero is a vector for communicable disease.
<Quinton> meekay: that's a feature
<Quinton> just like being in a real band
- Mike Kolb, Brian Swetland
(02 Jan 2008 GMT)
<mrw_> no need to apologize: you just totally made my point.
<meekay> And for that I am truly sorry.
- Matt Williams, Mike Kolb
(16 Apr 2007 GMT)
It's like a NASCAR race for nerds, round and round, the only time anyone pays attention is when there's a crash.
- Libor Michalek
(04 Aug 2005 GMT)
<dannyman> you know whose livejournal ios BORING?
<nebkor> All of them?
- Dannyman, Joe Doyle Ardent
(18 Jul 2005 GMT)
<TanAdept> 2004 is *so* last year.
<Adam> is not.
- Geoff Raye, Adam Haberlach
(06 Jul 2005 GMT)
"I should've known your quotes page is the best."
- Adam Haberlach
(21 Jun 2005 GMT)
<spruance> your quotes page has been: _approved_
- Mark Notarus
(24 Mar 2005 GMT)
<SmooveB> on a side note, I'm pretty sure this means I'm going to hell:
<SmooveB> C:\Documents and Settings\dterrel\src>set VISUAL=notepad.exe
<meekay> SmooveB: I have mine set to TextPad.
* meekay will see you in hell
<mrw> your text editor will freeze before you reach the first marker!
- Me, Mike Kolb, Matt Williams
(24 Mar 2005 GMT)
* tmboy goes to make and eat asaparagus
<seano> have fun peeing the smelly pee
<tmboy> Im ragging so I think Ill hardly notice
- Sean O'Connor, Anne Nowinski
(17 Mar 2005 GMT)
<Ch1XenZz> i hate it when i tell a coworker that javalobby is the slashdot of the java world, and he thinks that's a good thing
- Greg Fast
(16 Feb 2005 GMT)
<meekay> Shit, did you get laid?
<meekay> No wonder New Jersey is frozen over.
- Mike Kolb
(31 Jan 2005 GMT)
<spruance> i'm looking forward to the episode where batman and green
lantern have to order a new t1 to the justice tower satellite
and they have to deal with sbc and they finally just decide
to level hoffman estates
- Mark Notarus
(25 Jan 2005 GMT)
<Quinton> livejournal is still busted
<Quinton> this is like shutting down the containment unit in ghostbusters
<Quinton> all that angst!
- Brian Swetland
(16 Jan 2005 GMT)
<Nimbex> No way. The best cats in life are free.
- Geoff Raye
(14 Jan 2005 GMT)
<dman> In a few years, a little icon will pop up when you're running windows, with a talking robot dog, that says it thinks something is attempting to install spyware, should it be allowed? And you'll click no, and then your hard drive will be erased.
<OG> dammit why can't I get ignore to work
- Dannyman, David Lemson
(06 Jan 2005 GMT)
<mrw> when we went to the kerry campaign hq
<mrw> they told us that the kerry/edwards texas buttons would be in very high demand historically speaking once Kerry won texas
<mrw> and for a minute, a brief shining moment, I imagined it
<Quinton> sadly I doubt we will see such a thing
<mrw> it was a brief moment
<mrw> almost akin to the swell of humanity that flooded the charred lump of coal that is my soul when the sox won the series.
<Quinton> luckily coal drys out pretty quickly
- Matt Williams, Brian Swetland
(02 Nov 2004 GMT)
"Do all of your learning experiences involve bending over?"
- Brian Swetland
(07 Aug 2004 GMT)
"I bet Dave's money."
"I'll take that bet."
"What bet? There's no money."
"You're losing."
"Does that mean I'm winning?"
"I'm just trying new statements."
- Greg Fast, Marty McCarthy, Me, Brian Swetland
(07 Aug 2004 GMT)
"You fool!"
"Which one of us?"
"That's the only comment I know."
- Greg Fast, Brian Swetland
(07 Aug 2004 GMT)
"I remember Mark Roth showing me Mosaic in 1994, and asking him
'how do you remember these random sequences of letters and numbers?'"
"You asked Mark this?"
- Geoff Raye, Brian Swetland
(07 Aug 2004 GMT)
<djhHT> I had to explain to yayoi what a gag reflex is when we saw
margaret cho.
<TanAdept> Did you demonstrate?
<djhHT> No
<djhHT> I'm good with words
- Dannyman, Geoff Raye
(23 Jul 2004 GMT)
* Upholder reports meekay to the Department of Illinois Redundancy
Department
* meekay hits the ATM machine for bail money
- Jeff Randall, Mike Kolb
(19 Jul 2004 GMT)
Modified Files:
actions.c markup.c
Log Message:
- take care of screwy newlines
- provide soft newline mode and a [code] macro
- I already hate the markup parser. TODO: rewrite it
<spruance> find it
<spruance> print it out
<spruance> and flush it down the toilet
<spruance> also, rm it.
<spruance> but that comes last.
<Ark> also, I will convert it to christianity
- Mark Notarus, Keith Garner
(02 Feb 2004 GMT)
<nebkor> on ratchet, 'cd /usr/ports && make update'
<benjy> man, using '&&' there is pretty pessimistic
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Benjy Feen
(15 Jan 2004 GMT)
<seano> the long distance relationship association of america
bids you a hearty "fuck off", bohr :)
- Sean O'Connor
(23 Dec 2003 GMT)
<sger> Ebay accoutn rip-off site.
<sger> Note that they ask for your credit card and the passwod
to your email account!
<sger> And your bank account number, the routing number, your
SSN, and your mother's maiden name.
<sger> Holy identity theft, batman.
<paul> I think if you fill that out it's not identity theft,
it's identity charity.
- Ari Gordon-Schlossberg, Paul Watts
(02 Dec 2003 GMT)
<spruance> i'd hump his wife in a minute
<lotus> I'd do it, too, but I'd take my time
- Mark Notarus, Matt Ivaliotes on http://www.newsaskew.com/images/jen_playboy.jpg (warning: nudity)
(26 Nov 2003 GMT)
<Upholder> SCO: 'the GPL violates the US Constitution'
<meekay> Typical. They don't say which lines of the
Constitution.
- Jeff Randall, Mike Kolb
(28 Oct 2003 GMT)
<whoops> are you there god? it's me, kc. i need sleep.
- KC Lympson on being a new parent (at 5:38am)
(24 Aug 2003 GMT)
<Scola> I love this country
<OG> OK yakoff
- Mike Khalili, David Lemson
(22 Aug 2003 GMT)
<Quinton> little do you realize that I am trained in the
arts of stealth gorilla inflation
- Brian Swetland
(04 Aug 2003 GMT)
<benjamin> http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/asiapcf/southeast/07/26/arroyo.officers/
<benjamin> We're in the middle of a huge crucial
outage/migration
<benjamin> and there's been a military mutiny outside the
hotel where several of our engineers are staying
<benjamin> "Maybe moving our operations offshore was a bad
idea."
- Benjy Feen
(26 Jul 2003 GMT)
<spruance> you have confused me.
<spruance> FOR THE LAST TIME i might add
- Mark Notarus
(22 Jul 2003 GMT)
<seano> I also had a multiple-hour long dream about how I had
to test some device, and my assignment was to use a bear to test it
for durability
<seano> the dream was totally awesome.
- Sean O'Connor
(12 Jun 2003 GMT)
<moxie> that's why boys run faster than girls: two ball
bearings and a stick shift
- Tom Mary Lunarwolf Dobrowolsky
(05 Jun 2003 GMT)
<benjamin> Dozens of other bats used by Sosa were sent to
baseball headquarters in New York for examination. If others are
found to be corked, the career achievements of the Dominican-born
player - who earlier this season became the first Latino to enter
the exclusive 500-homer club - may be irredeemably tainted.
<benjamin> I love the scientific tone
<benjamin> I imagine a bat split in half and stuck under a
microscope
<nebkor> Yes, with baseball-cap-wearing guys in labcoats
<nebkor> Examining it, while spitting tobacco
- Benjy Feen, Joe Doyle Ardent
(04 Jun 2003 GMT)
<Byron> http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/europe/05/30/sprj.irq.britain.pow/index.html
<Byron> "ooooops"
<spruance> Other snapshots allegedly depict soldiers
committing sex acts near captured Iraqis.
<Byron> ya. I'm curious what kind of sex acts
<Byron> I mean, the only thing present are camels, and other
GIs
<TanAdept> It brings new meaning to firinga missile into a
camel's butt!
- Byron Faber, Mark Notarus, Geoff Raye
(30 May 2003 GMT)
<Quinton> of course, 'winning' appears to mean being a ccso lifer, so maybe I should be careful what I wish for :-)
- Brian Swetland
(29 May 2003 GMT)
<Byron> I need to work on finding women who aren't interested
in sex. I'm tired of all this dating of women who just want sex.
blah
- Byron Faber
(19 May 2003 GMT)
<collision> you know, it's funny - i've tried so hard to keep
my work and personal mail seperate, but there are still some things
that straddle the boundary in odd ways
<TanAdept> "Wanna go fuck in the server room?"
- Mark Roth, Geoff Raye
(15 May 2003 GMT)
So, really, we should strive to be like Bugs Bunny, who was good at everything he encountered.
- Tom Mary Lunarwolf Dobrowolsky
(13 May 2003 GMT)
It would just fit my whole day to have met an awesome new friend only to have her become, like, incapacitated after just two weeks.
- Thomas Szasz
(23 Apr 2003 GMT)
<DEF_OC> I think they should have take you rparents to school
day
<DEF_OC> I think it might be more constructive
- Sean O'Connor
(24 Apr 2003 GMT)
<benjamin> I think I'm happy having crippled legs and a superb
command of English.
<benjamin> The other way around sucks.
- Benjy Feen
(10 Apr 2003 GMT)
<XXX> my officemate has a "don't ask; I'm more than willing
to tell" policy
<XXX> regarding his gayosity
- anonymous
(04 Apr 2003 GMT)
- Mike Kolb
(21 Mar 2003 GMT)
<Ark> if coming here bores you, I suggest you do
what Jorie did
<spruance> fuck pavan?
- Keith Garner, Mark Notarus
(19 Mar 2003 GMT)
<Ashton> but I think when I was a kid I fell in love with the
mac, and mistook that for a love for computers :)
- Mark Ashton
(14 Mar 2003 GMT)
<Ark> and, and we're open source free software fags
<nebkor> ark: Sleepycat is open source and free, and commercial :)
<Ark> that doesn't mean we're not fags!
- Keith Garner, Joe Doyle Ardent
(04 Mar 2003 GMT)
<Ashton> Chicago has the important things I need:
<Ashton> 1. sausage
<Ashton> 2. beef
<Ashton> 3. cardiologists
- Mark Ashton
(26 Feb 2003 GMT)
Could you perhaps separate your criticism into the parts that are truly stupid and the parts that just don't fit in with your architecture?
<seano> argh, why do I always forget that I shouldn't go to
dim sum
<SmooveB> seano: why not?
<seano> because it's grotty
<seano> I might as well just pour grease and oil directly
down my throat
<Ark> I'm still not seeing what the problem is
- Sean O'Connor, Me, Keith Garner
(14 Feb 2003 GMT)
*** tambreet has changed the topic on channel #uiuc to Happy unimaginative,
consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative & shallow
interpretation of romance day
<Ark> so, you don't have a date, eh?
- Jordan, Keith Garner
(14 Feb 2003 GMT)
<SmooveB> sex: better than linux.
<Doubt> linux lasts longer
<Ark> maybe for YOU
- Me, Ari Pernick, Keith Garner
(12 Feb 2003 GMT)
<TanAdept> junta: Well, I recently got some unsolicited
commercial email advertising a product "better than x10!"
<recursive> x11!
- Geoff Raye, Mike Magin
(12 Feb 2003 GMT)
<dman> Other programming languages suck because they make
decisions to make some people happy, while pissing off others. My
decisions would seek to piss off the greatest number with the
greatest consistency. :)
<Doubt> This will create some diehard lovers of your
language... the greater the pain, the harder core the fan
<dman> Doubt: Ah, yes, the Amiga strategy!
- Dannyman, Ari Pernick
(12 Feb 2003 GMT)
* shimaneko loves that he can reload his server code
while it's still running :-)
<shimaneko> well, usually
*** Signoff: python (Remote closed the connection)
- Brian Swetland
(19 Jan 2003 GMT)
*** seano (stoconno@pianosa.catch22.org) has joined channel #uiuc
<seano> hahahahaha
*** seano has left channel #uiuc
- Sean O'Connor
(17 Jan 2003 GMT)
<nebkor> I wish I were not so stupid. This vinum
documentation may as well be written in Sumerian.
<nebkor> (Also, I wish I could read Sumerian)
- Joe Doyle Ardent
(17 Jan 2003 GMT)
<Scola> it's worst possible crime is bad writing
<tambreet> Such irony in that last statement
- Mike Khalili, Jordan
(10 Jan 2003 GMT)
<xi> I think we should just change over to Socialism asap.
<Scola> would you like to have sex?
- Jorie, Mike Khalili
(09 Jan 2003 GMT)
<Adam> Yeah, our main problem with 7-page resumes is that our
shredder is only rated to handle 6 pages at a time.
- Adam Haberlach
(09 Jan 2003 GMT)
<benjamin> what a gorgeous fucking article
<benjamin> I'd forgotten the power of vitriolic critique
<benjamin> guess I'll go back to working now
* Tambreet was going to do that too, but now he has to go
look up vitriolic in the dictionary
- Benjy Feen, Jordan on this article
(08 Jan 2003 GMT)
<Scola> it's amazing that New Orleans continues to develop
suburban sprawl as the only place that's left to sprawl to is
swampland, which is even less stable than New Orleans itself (which
is about 10 feet bellow the river, sinks an inch a year, and has no
bedrock
<Nicko> so basically your saying they should abandon the
suburban spawl and make an effort to build upward on unstable
ground instead....?
- Mike Khalili, Nick Michels
(07 Jan 2003 GMT)
<cvk> UIUCnet is running ERROR-FREE at the moment. like, the
whole thing.
<cvk> this like NEVER happens.
<seano> book tickets to maui
<seano> or investigate what's wrong with intermapper
- Charley Kline, Sean O'Connor
(30 Dec 2002 GMT)
<Ark> I wonder if "that boy ain't right" translates well
<tambreet> There's probably a word for that in german
<meekay> Berliner.
- Keith Garner, Jordan, Mike Kolb
(12 Dec 2002 GMT)
<Kecleon> I'm trying to figure out what a sensible way to
manage my tiles is.
<shimaneko> I suggest you allow them flexible hours and
fair pay
- Geoff Raye, Brian Swetland
(03 Dec 2002 GMT)
<Ch1XenZz> anyone know of a tool to prettify tragically
machine-generated html?
<Kecleon> rm?
- Greg Fast, Geoff Raye
(25 Nov 2002 GMT)
<seano> when your only tool is a paperclip, every problem
looks like a pair of handcuffs.
- Sean O'Connor
(07 Oct 2002 GMT)
<Gopher> shouldn't
drug-dealing-crack-addict-downstairs-neighbor be hyphenated?
- Jason Govig
(23 Sep 2002 GMT)
<iammoose> The convention center here is being overhauled. some months ago some of it fell, during construction, killing someone.
<iammoose> today the cornoner has recommended that the manufacturer have charges filed for negligent homicide for the bad parts they made
<iammoose> the company used to be based in Large, PA, which is south of the city.
<iammoose> So, the Large Dick Corporation is in trouble for having bad nuts.
<jss> iammoose: You're making that up!
<iammoose> jss: i am not making one bit of that up
<iammoose> the company is the Dick Corporation
<iammoose> they were based in Large, PA
<iammoose> and they are in trouble for making and using the wrong sized nuts in a trussing system
<iammoose> dude, bad nuts ina truss! how did i miss that part
- moose
(23 Aug 2002 GMT)
<nebkor> If by "muscle" you mean, "anal sphincter", then
I too have some "muscle relaxant."
* \manami\ does not want to know how mr kor enjoys his
tacos
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Victoria
(08 Aug 2002 GMT)
<seano> hey, I love the french
<seano> they're so cute, and small, and stunted, and
feminine.
<seano> and then, there's the women.
- Sean O'Connor
(07 Aug 2002 GMT)
<Adam> suspect that aliasing pico to vi would stop most
scriptkiddie attacks.
- Adam Haberlach
(03 Aug 2002 GMT)
<mrw> lovely. SCCTA is going to triple fees for disabled
passengers and make them go through a humiliating "prove you're
disabled" test.
<shimaneko> and if they don't pass. they're TERRORISTS
- Matt Williams, Brian Swetland
(30 Jul 2002 GMT)
<benjy> hot wok General Tso's Chicken
<benjy> I used to get one order every two days and live on it
for every meal
<Pickaxe> I have not found the same style of general chicken
here
<benjy> Yeah, well, California's EPA is a lot stricter
- Benjy Feen, Joe Gross
(30 Jul 2002 GMT)
<mrw> I'm not going to complain about people taking a
long time for their turn -- it would violate the lease on my
glass-walled condo.
- Matt Williams
(24 Jul 2002 GMT)
<seano> I'd look up the korean word for 'dinner' and name him
that.
- Sean O'Connor
(08 Jul 2002 GMT)
<cory> what do people do the last day of lisa?
<david_> Leave?
- david
(06 Jul 2002 GMT)
ObDrivel: Actually the most disturbing thing about the Pledge is that we
force a bunch of 6-12 year olds swear blind faith to a goverment,
a shifting, changing entity made of people, whose very existance
and operation relies on individual oversite fueled by constant
questioning and critisism. Little ever struck me as more
un-American. The god part is just the sand in the face after
the fight.
<mrw> okay
<mrw> I need a plan.
* meekay hands mrw a canal
- Matt Williams, Mike Kolb
(20 Jun 2002 GMT)
<seano> time to get an expensive bike!
<nebkor> After I buy Kris a ring.
<seano> your priorities are totally fucked.
- Sean O'Connor, Joe Doyle Ardent
(06 Jun 2002 GMT)
<MrToad> Nuclear Accord, Security Issues Top Bush-Putin
Agenda
<MrToad> man, I thought the hybrid civic was cool
- Mark Ashton
(24 May 2002 GMT)
<starla> When I was a kid I always wanted cat eyes
<larold> When I was kid, I always wanted eyes.
- Carrie Fay, Larry Schrof
(23 May 2002 GMT)
<junta> argh, i thought alou was supposed to bring some
offense to the cubs.
<Fun-Boy> junta: yeah, they're more offensive now. :|
- Steve Engelhardt, Jon Roma
(21 May 2002 GMT)
<seano> "my boss is a caucasian chief software architect"
- Sean O'Connor
(07 May 2002 GMT)
<nebkor> Hey, Mike, do you remember a guy named Ronn
****** from Trilogy?
<meekay> Yes. He interviewed me.
<meekay> Then went to Motive.
<nebkor> He works for Tellme
<meekay> Does he?
<nebkor> Yep. I sit right by him.
* meekay crosses off the word "motive" on a list
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Mike Kolb
(03 May 2002 GMT)
<mrw> German's a much cleaner language.
<mrw> We should all be speaking German anyway.
<shimaneko> better than perl
- Matt Williams, Brian Swetland
(19 Apr 2002 GMT)
Let's put those "hacking" contests in some perspective, shall we? Those contests are offering whiner prizes. The Third Reich offered the victory in World War II to those who could break their flagship Enigma Encryption.
<tambreet> Like our DBA who got an e-mail from the head of
marketing who is an ass (sent to all the technology higher-ups)
that he couldn't log on to the reporting system. The DBA responded
to all that it was fixed and he responded with a very mean toned "I
is NOT fixed because the reoprts only go back to the 16th."
<tambreet> And the DBA responded "I though you couldn't log
on, jackass" (but not quite in those words)
- Jordan
(21 Feb 2002 GMT)
<mrw> I did dpkg --purge dpkg, remember? I practically
wet my shorts when I did.
- Matt Williams
(21 Feb 2002 GMT)
<junta> an apostophre is just a warning that a 's' is coming
up, like in have's or statu's
- Steve Engelhardt
(18 Feb 2002 GMT)
<Figz> here, read this vi tutorial
<Figz> mr dcc autogetter
- Figz on efnet
(10 Feb 2002 GMT)
<h4ck> have you gotten to the point where her and her mom/dad
get into an argument, and switch into polish?
<halfman> they switch back and forth regularly, i'm actually
learning quite a bit of it just by context
<spruance> have you figured out "no good boyfriend" by
context? :)
<halfman> yeah...i'm not sure how to spell it though
<halfman> it sounds like "Noh-Taar-uhs"
- Chris Stamborski, Jason Beatty, Mark Notarus
(10 Feb 2002 GMT)
<[Ender]> Why does [his] image explain things?
<nebkor> Because he looks like a big weenis.
<tambreet> I was trying to figure out how to word it, but
yes, what joe said.
<nebkor> I'm good with words.
- Jason Lindquist, Joe Doyle Ardent, Jordan
(05 Feb 2002 GMT)
<recursive> so, my unix brothers: if a machine demand dialed
to the internet, and it ran mailq from /etc/daily, perhaps would
that cause unwanted demand dialing?
<Fun-Boy> not unless you run /etc/daily every 5 minutes!
- Mike Magin, Jon Roma
(03 Feb 2002 GMT)
<Zaphod> it is critical that the government take away our
rights so that the terrorists cannot take them away
- Brian Swetland
(31 Jan 2002 GMT)
<lemson> getting into a building might get you some strategic
plans, some dates, BORING
<lemson> probably get you a fair amount of alcohol
- David Lemson
(26 Jan 2002 GMT)
<chimon2> just remember
<chimon2> the ark was built by an
amatuer, the titanic by experts
- chimon2
(22 Jan 2002 GMT)
<Zaphod> conveniently you don't need to imagine reality.
that's the nice thing about it
- Brian Swetland
(08 Jan 2002 GMT)
"we should be deep in deployment by this time. let's not repeat the time-related errors that got us to where we're not."
- Paul Vixie on DNSSEC
(06 Dec 2001 GMT)
- Brian Swetland
(09 Nov 2001 GMT)
<shelfanil> ...if you were to ask him to play chess with
you, he would spend a week obsessing over writing a chess program
on a pocketwatch...
<shelfanil> you would get pocketwatch comms tools,
compilers, and a neat hack allowing it to run ntpd
<shelfanil> you would not likely actually get a chess
partner...
- Victoria on Brian Swetland
(09 Nov 2001 GMT)
Personally, I could care less if RMS took credit for my turd. But I fear that he would accuse me of producing the turd in a closed-door setting, using proprietary means, and without giving others the opportunity to modify the turd, or otherwise participate in my turd-creation process.
Telling people "I'm only into girls" or "I am
an android who lacks human emotions" or "I have a carnivorous plant
in place of a twat" usually only invites more of the attention that
I don't want
- anonymous
(09 Oct 2001 GMT)
<mrw> doesn't grep -c fork a wc?
- Matt Williams
(02 Aug 2001 GMT)
<benjy> I have a much, much better piece of code that is
currently broken
- Benjy Feen
(01 Aug 2001 GMT)
<seano> I'm going to sleep like a baby
<seano> (that means I'm going to soil myself, wake up
crying, and also search for a breast to put in my mouth)
<seano> basically, the usual nightly routine.
- Sean O'Connor
(03 May 2001 GMT)
<Ashton> I'd say if you're bisexual, you like meat and potatoes
<Ashton> it doesn't mean you are currently dining on both.
<Zem> ash: don't you mean sausage and fish?
- Mark Ashton, Paul Swanson
(25 Apr 2001 GMT)
<Adam> Someone stole your pot?
<whoops> I specifically hid my jewelery before the contractors
came, i'm wondering if they would steal a pot
<whoops> it's a $200 pot
<Adam> Actually, stealing pot would be a good idea, nobody
will report their drugs stolen.
<whoops> I mean, who would suspect?
<whoops> i apologize; my saucepan
<whoops> I will try not to be so unclear next time, so that
you don't feel the need to make blindingly obvious jokes. :)
<Adam> A $200 saucepan?
<whoops> Yes
<whoops> it's calphalon
<Adam> I think more then one crime was committed here.
- Adam Haberlach, KC Lympson
(24 Mar 2001 GMT)
>>The other thing people forget is move O'Hare to the South Suburbs and the
>>Northwest Sububs will soon become like the South Suburbs.
>Huh? In what way?
Magnetic pole shift.
<paul> A study showed having sex three or more times a week can reduce a man's risk of stroke or heart attack by half.
<MrChocobo> I think I'd stroke much less if I had sex three or more times a week.
- Paul Watts, Geoff Raye
(30 Nov 2000 GMT)
<spruance> although i question how one actually makes love while wearing pants
<tmboy> they were really baggy
- Mark Notarus, Anne Nowinski
(27 Nov 2000 GMT)
"and if living across the hall from a single swedish underwear model doesn't work out, I'll try coke."
- Sean O'Connor
(27 Oct 2000 GMT)
<fluffy> i don't beleive in souls
<seano> so you listen to Dave Matthews Band?
- Chris Stillson, Sean O'Connor
(27 Oct 2000 GMT)
<[Ender]> DENVER - A new secretary at one of the state's most respected high schools stands accused of hosting her 16-year-old daughter's friends as they used beer bongs, smoked dope and had sex throughout her house this summer.
<SmooveB> what's the problem?
<CrazyG> people are jealous...
- Jason Lindquist, Me, Vik Kulkarni
(26 Oct 2000 GMT)
<boobu> 7:45 I hear tires screeching and a crash. I look out
side and there is a car crashed into some of the cars parked. IN
front of it laying on the ground was a girl, twitching a whole lot,
cause she'd just been hit.
<BigD2> I'm trying not to ask if she was cute...
- Rob Schott, Declan Fleming
(21 Sep 2000 GMT)
<Camilla> Did I ever mention that I admire what you guys do?
<mrw> not take showers?
- Angela, Matt Williams
(11 Sep 2000 GMT)
- Brian Swetland
(05 Sep 2000 GMT)
It sounds like one of the subplots from Atlas Shrugged.
- Joe Doyle Ardent on Keith Garner's departure from RIMS
(28 Aug 2000 GMT)
Daniel Grobe Sachs <sachs@shrug.isdn.uiuc.edu> wrote: > I hate cars. > Discuss. Well, personally, I think the third word is extraneous. You're just a little ball of undirected hate. Today it's cars, tomorrow it's going to be giant stuffed cows, or hanging beer bottles, or just about anything else that catches your eye. You love to hate and you're quite good at it. But the really weird thing is this: you actually hate yourself for it. Who would have guessed? Just kidding. -Dan
<Pickaxe> I admit it, i'm a sellout
<Ark> Yeah, I don't like your music anymore, fucko!
- Joe Gross, Keith Garner
(23 May 2000 GMT)
<TanAdept> Hm. I will go out with an Indian this week,
quite probably.
<Ark> the one in the cupboard?
- Geoff Raye, Keith Garner
(23 May 2000 GMT)
<doyle> It's disruptive to the community
<chris> doyle: like you arent?
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Chris Stillson
(23 May 2000 GMT)
- Keith Garner as Angsty Brak
(12 Apr 2000 GMT)
You think diluted memories are cool, try *deluded* memories! "...and so after I single-handedly saved three senior citizens, five infants, and a white swan from the deadly blaze, I then turned to George W. Bush, who had accidentally started the blaze while lighting his crack pipe, rolled my eyes amusedly, and said `You're such an incompetent doofus, you could be a politician!!'. We both enjoyed a hearty laugh, and then the next thing I knew he was governor of Texas."
Objectivism cannot make you warm on a cold winters eve
it cannot comfort you when you lover takes their leave
It cant bark a sweet herald of hi!
Under a talented tongue, nary a sigh
Gratefully
Luckily for me and for you
its subscribers simply dont miss what it cant do
But a half talented ego racked wench decided to start this theology,
and today she shares the lunatic fringe very nice with Scientology.
- Anne Nowinski
(22 Mar 2000 GMT)
<doyle> TMLMTBGB can SUCK me!
<yohan> They would, too, but only for thirty seconds
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Andrew Ho
(16 Mar 2000 GMT)
<doyle> ______'s brother wants us to bomb the crap out of China.
<seano> doyle: werd, nip them in the bud
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Sean O'Connor
(16 Mar 2000 GMT)
<Pickaxe> she used to have a "GREAT ASS!" but now she has a
"GREAT ASS!"
- Joe Gross
(15 Mar 2000 GMT)
If NNTP had a protocol extension for administering a spanking (long overdue if you ask me), you'd be yelping right now.
<meekay> I bet whoever put that there was fired for not
using Hungarian Notation.
- Mike Kolb on _nsaKey in Windows NT
(23 Feb 2000 GMT)
<seano> I always stop reading a review when the writer points
out the lack of an automatic transmission as a major flaw.
- Sean O'Connor
(18 Feb 2000 GMT)
"I like to stick my whole hand up there."
- Joe Doyle Ardent
(05 Feb 2000 GMT)
We prefer "free, do as you like, incorporate it into a baby
mulching machine if that turns your crank".
- Theo de Raadt
(03 Feb 2000 GMT)
<meekay> Beer is the little death.
<meekay> AND DEATH TASTES PRETTY FUCKING GOOD, DOESN'T
IT!?
- Mike Kolb
(28 Jan 2000 GMT)
<yohan> how pathetic... I have an image called nicerack.jpg
and it's a picture of some servers
- Andrew Ho
(22 Jan 2000 GMT)
<doyle> and not in a good, softly-sensual, licking kind of
way. It is like a shopvac pulling my intestines out through my
anus.
<doyle> That is how tcsh sucks my ass.
<Lone-Wolf> well, maybe that'll finaly get that hamster outta
there
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Brian White
(20 Jan 2000 GMT)
- Mike Magin
(31 Dec 1999 GMT)
<decouple> How do make an array of arrays in Perl?
<Fizban> you should just concatenate it all into one big
string
<Fizban> perl is good at strings
<Fizban> then use regex to find the bits you need
<Fizban> perl is good at regex too
- Ari Gordon-Schlossberg, Brian Swetland
(link)
<bigd4> the rap dictionary doesn't have a ref to "Get some
stank on my hangdown."
- Declan Fleming
(link)
<whoops> like i'm supposed to believe she's a nuclear physicist
<Aleph> Or an actor :)
- KC Lympson, Joe Doyle Ardent
(link)
<Pickaxe> i said "i'm so fucked up" she said "you think you're
fucked up? i did seven lines of coke before i got here"
<Pickaxe> that's when the little voice starts getting louder
- Joe Gross
(link)
<Aleph> Every cycle is sacred, every cycle is great. If
a cycle's wasted, Dan gets quite irate.
- Joe Doyle Ardent
(link)
<mrw> I actually got pressured into switching to vi for a
year; Oscar did me in.
<mrw> then g0ff showed me syntax highlighting, and...next
thing you know...I have to bytecompile my dotfiles in order to get
XEmacs to load in less than 20 minutes.
- Matt Williams
(link)
<meekay> the good news for them is that they'll have cable tv
for the rest of their lives
<meekay> the bad news is that'll probably about seven years.
- Mike Kolb
(link)
<ErisE> All DoSs should be like that
<ErisE> Simple, elegant, and unobtrusive to everyone but the
recipient
- Victoria
(link)
- Joe Gross
(link)
"Glass: The Other White Board."
- Jamie Templeton
(link)
<mrw> to quote my grandfather: "the only part about
medicinal marijuana that bothers me is that, when I started chemo,
all of my children and grandchildren told me they could get some for
me if I needed it."
- Matt Williams
(link)
* mrw violates the robots.txt protocol.
<Arun> you bastard. you're gonna die.
<mrw> hah. If death were the penalty for violating
robots.txt, the Internet would be tolerable.
- Matt Williams, Arun Bhalla
(link)
* UnkleHo thinks gnome is a silly name .... GNU Desktop
Environment would be much better ..... GNUDE
- Sean Hollingsworth
(link)
<ErisE> Tonight, there are approximately 4 people too many
in my head
- Victoria
(link)
<UnkleHo> the evolution of a linux user (??) :
<UnkleHo> slackware -> redhat -> debian -> slackware
- Sean Hollingsworth
(link)
<whoosp> so i had a dev tell me today that he thinks i should
become a dev
<whoosp> that made me feel pretty good :-)
<whoosp> or maybe it was a subtle way of telling me that i
smell
- KC Lympson
(link)
<spruance> there was a war
<spruance> A WAR SO BIG AND SO VAST THAT I MUST SAY IT IN CAPS
- Mark Notarus
(link)
<meekay> Okay. When I send a consultant email asking him
four questions that are critical to being able to resolve his issue,
and i put them in bold text, and he only responds to one of them...
<meekay> ... like, am I doing something wrong?
<gdf> you should be using a bat.
* meekay requests one from the company's procurement site
<meekay> Items in cart:
<meekay> 1 (one) bat, baseball, Louisville Slugger
- Mike Kolb, Greg Fast
(link)
* mrw harkens back to the summer of 1994, when they
installed lynx 1.4 on the cluster, and he wondered what the hell lynx
was...so he ran it.
<mrw> Oops.
<mrw> Just think. Joe Gross doesn't put that in the MOTD,
I'm working in an analytical chemistry lab now.
- Matt Williams
(link)
<Arun> Ameritech sucks donkey wong
<Arun> not that there's anything wrong with that.
<mrw> assuming, of course, that it's Internet Donkey Wong.
<mrw> er
<mrw> assuming, of course, that it's CONSENTING Donkey
Wong.
<Arun> heh, Internet, CONSENTING, what's the difference?
<mrw> the second one is somewhat funny.
- Arun Bhalla, Matt Williams
(link)
<meekay> Manager: "Are the three of you all on the same
page here?"
<meekay> Developer: "Well, I don't know about them, but I'm
on the same page."
- Mike Kolb
(link)
- tea
(link)
<J-Rad> Her name was Leia!
<J-Rad> She was a princess!
<J-Rad> With a danish ion each ear,
*** J-Rad has been kicked off channel by mrw (mrw)
<J-Rad> What was that for?
<mrw> you're singing off-key
- Jared Wordsworth, Matt Williams
(link)
<Evil-mrw> I'm going to write a perl script that bongs
people who try and use hexe and belton to relay mail.
<Evil-mrw> "Sorry, not only do we not relay, but we
carefully jot down people who try to connect to port 25. Hope you're
doing IP spoofing, because I've got a datestamp and an IP
address...odds are, your account will be gone before midafternoon.
<Evil-mrw> We apologize for any inconvenience."
*** Signoff: Evil-mrw (shower -> gun shoppe -> spammer headquarters)
- Matt Williams
(link)
<T0ast> I have a friend, she's 24 now...only dates 18 year old
guys...i swear, her last one turned 19, 3 weeks later she dumped him
for another 18 year old. Anyway, she spends all her time at denny's
- Allen Carley
(link)
<Charlene2> i need to make a boot disk using the current kernel
<Charlene2> well what is the kernel name?
<Charlene2> the default kernel
<sung> GENERIC
<sung> it's uhh
<sung> in /bsd
<Charlene2> so dd if=/bsd/GENERIC /dev/cua1
- Two random morons, on #openbsd
(link)
<lemson> another thing that sucks about home ownership: having
so much space to CLEAN
<icky> well, not really
<icky> lemson: thats why people have kids - a few slaves to
bully into doing the dirty work
<whoops> yeah but they take so long to compile, it's not worth
it
- David Lemson, Nick Eyechaner, KC Lympson
(link)
From: jlindqui@babylon5.figure1.net (Jason Lindquist) Newsgroups: local.talk Subject: Ask, and thou shalt receive Date: 4 Aug 1999 22:28:54 GMT Organization: SETEC Astronomy User-Agent: slrn/0.9.5.7 (UNIX) I've been having some resource problems as of late. I've asked for test equipment, like phones, cables, pdQs, and had them never show up. I would see Thin Phones showing up on the belts of business weenies who did nothing with them but show them off and make phone calls wanting to know why such-and-such Thin Phone test or development milestone hadn't been reached, mostly to testers and developers who didn't have such phones to test on. I finally got my Thin Phones when I bitched to a Vice President about it. But of course, that's not the way things are supposed to work. The pdQs I asked for last October have still not arrived. So I came to wonder if anyone even bothers to read my resource requirements in the planning documents I'm required to draw up. This time around, I borrowed a page out of Van Halen's (alleged) book, and requested a pound of plain M&Ms, with all the blue ones separated out. I got a page from our test resource coordinator five minutes ago, saying some test resources had come in for me. Sitting on my desk now is one bowl of blue M&Ms, and a larger bowl of everything-but-blue plain M&Ms. -- Jason Lindquist <*> "Mostly though, I think it gave us hope, linky@see.figure1.net That there can always be a new beginning. KB9LCL Even for people like us."
"I went into Barnes and Noble to look for a book on A.D.D., but I got bored and left."
- Benjy Feen
(link)
<meekay> particularly since i asked if i could have sunday,
my birthday off.
<meekay> by boss gets a weird look on his face when i ask
him stuff like that.
- Mike Kolb
(link)
In article <slrn7o9i51.cqt.khalili@gypsie.isdn.uiuc.edu>, Mike Khalili wrote: >I would argue forcefully (not that this is worth arguing forcefully about, >but if the argument isn't extreme, I'll go do something else...or something) >that you turn the air conditioner down since the up or down refers to the >amount of power the air conditioner will consume. However, you turn the >temperature up since that's a measure of temperature (hence the name). *waves hand in a Jedi fashion* But you won't argue forcefully about this...you'll just shut the fuck up...
<AgntSmith> the coolest thing about er is the opening credits
music.
<mulder> agnt: and the defibrillators!
<mulder> "this woman's gonig to have a baby!"
<mulder> "CLEAR"
<mulder> *jolt*
<mulder> <fade to commercial>
- Me, Sean O'Connor
(link)
*** Aleph has changed the topic on channel #uiuc to The way to a man's cock is through his cock.
<_Dagny> duh
* _Dagny readies her catheter
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Anne Nowinski
(link)
"You can't get CIFS from a toilet seat."
- Dan DeGruchy
(link)
Sure, translucent windows would be very very cool. I'd love to see them.
People on the graphics team here would love to seem them too (I can only
do so much in the SCSI subsystem to support translucent windows).
- Brian Swetland on translucent windows, on BeDevTalk
(link)
But when
life deals you both bowers and an ace and a king
of spades...and somebody before you calls hearts...you
go make lemonade.
- Tom Mary Lunarwolf Dobrowolsky
(link)
<Aleph> How does one use pornography?
<GoodAsh> al: I'd show you, but you're out of state
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Mark Ashton
(link)
I started a study a while ago to try to categorize vBNS traffic by "application", but the initial results were too depressing and were hardly something I could report to the NSF, so I never carried it to completion.
It can be misused easily. It is not a clue replacement.
- Mike Bristow, on comp.os.linux.security
(link)
<flatlandr> I'm looking for the man in the middle
<flatlandr> I'm thinking he has stolen my key
- Paul Watts
(link)
<flatlandr> I like my beer like my women: smooth, tasty, and
leaving you so fucked you can hardly stand.
- Paul Watts
(link)
But remember that "layman" is just a polite word for "idiot."
- Neal Stephenson, on Wired Online
(link)
Of course, no matter how righteously you live and what creed you profess,
there is invariably some religion which believes that you're going to Hell.
- acb
(link)
<meekay> "Your overconfidence is your weakness." "Your
devotion to Friends is yours."
- Mike Kolb
(link)
The version of that rumor I heard was that Vaidya has a cat. One semester his cat died, so he got in a very foul mood and flunked everyone. Now he has another cat, so in theory, he's a ticking time bomb. Oh, he'll inflate your grades, give you points for "I am a fish", ect. but God help you if his new cat dies because he'll fuck you hard you'll be sore for years to come.
<Arun> What Part of "I'm Not Interested" Do U.S. Telemarketers Not Understand?
| <Arun> "I'm" | 21% |
| <Arun> "Not" | 47% |
| <Arun> "Interested" | 32% |
"Happy Easter
Bloody Mary's.... $2.00"
- Specials board at Murphy's Pub
(link)
*daria* it was the first thing that
came to my head thst wasn't sex or bowling :)
- Heather Norton
(link)
One man's snickers bar is another man's drain-o, as they say. More or less. :-)
- Fred Floberg, on alsa-devel
(link)
<mrw> dpkg: considering removing smail in favour of
sendmail ...
<mrw> dpkg: yes, will remove smail in favour of sendmail.
* mrw has a spontaneous non-contact orgasm
- Matt Williams
(link)
<Mal2> "Any sufficiently advanced technology is
indistinguishable from a rigged demo"
- Brian Swetland
(link)
War is peace,
freedom is slavery,
ignorance is strength
Dishes are clean.
- Chris Fester, on the h0l mailling list
(link)
It's a great place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there...
- Ed Kubaitis on Champaign-Urbana
(link)
<UnkleHo> roaches and twinkies would replace us in a few
million years
<UnkleHo> and then they would invent MTV and South Park
- Sean Hollingsworth
(link)
-yes my brain is crispier than bacon -
- Rene Hendrix
(link)
<ChromeLi> my friend told a rather friendly slut she knew that
I was a great roll in the hay
<ChromeLi> Apparently it wasn't convincing. I'm at work now.
- Benjy Feen
(14 Feb 1998 GMT)
"Everybody's going to be here that weekend."
"Ray's going to be here that weekend!"
"And Ray is everybody, right?"
"Whoa, I just had a scary thought. I've slept with everybody."
- Me, Mel White
(link)
"I'm going to delete all my porn and make room for BeOS"
- Anthony Tong
(link)
Hrvoje Niksic <hniksic@srce.hr> writes: > Thanks for the report, even if on a not-really-appropriate newsgroup. > The chances of getting useful feedback are slightly greater on > comp.emacs.xemacs. I didn't want the bug *fixed*, I wanted to bitch pointlessly. Thanks, though.
<_Dagny> dude if i had breasts I wouldnt leave the house
<_Dagny> no wait thats clinical depression
- Anne Nowinski
(link)
<whoops> now i need to decide.. go to neighbor's and ask to
borrow half a cup of milk, or wait for david to get home and get me
milk on his way?
<whoops> or get pregnant and make my own?
- KC Lympson
(link)
<lemson> i'll tell you what - she certainly has not done a lot
to dispell the myth that jewish women don't put out
- David Lemson on Monica Lewinsky
(link)
"When others do a foolish thing, you should tell them it is a foolish thing.
They may continue to do it, but at least the Truth is where it should be."
- J. Michael Straczynski as Dukat, Babylon 5 season 4, "Atonement"
(link)
*** sQurl has changed the topic on channel #uiuc to getting married to get sex
is like buying a 747 to get peanuts
- sQurl
(link)
* Mal2 watches the fishtank on the video grabber
<SmooveB> freak.
<Mal2> considering it's 3' to my left, yes
- Brian Swetland, Me
(link)
<toine> obscenity is the crutch of inarticulate motherfuckers
- Anthony Tong
(link)
<mrw> if I want to clutter up my screen with error
messages, I'll run find on /home as myself.
- Matt Williams on perl -w
(link)
<Arun> alias sed 'perl -npe'
- Arun Bhalla
(link)
I never really liked these "quickest way to a heart" phrases. It
alwasy seemed to me that the quickest way to anybody's heart was--well,
through their heart.
bilal
as the crow flies
<Pickaxe> i spent the day installing and uninstalling stuff
<Pickaxe> and trying to figure out why our domain server wasn't
sharing registry entries
<Pickaxe> "The more I use NT, the more I realize how cool it
is."
- Joe Gross
(link)
<meekay> There were a bunch of people selling Bibles and shit
in the lobby of the Uptown Trilogy building just now.
<meekay> I felt like overturning their tables, forming a kind
of cat of tails with a hemp rope, and beating them crying, "Know you
not this is a house of Commerce?"
- Mike Kolb
(link)
<Mal2> if the bsd license is good enough for jesus christ, it's
good enough for you
- Brian Swetland
(link)
<halfman> working on placing network printers on our new floor
plan, it's kind of like playing Populous in a way :)
<halfman> "you get to walk here, and you only have to walk
here"
<halfman> "I don't like you, you get a copier next to your
desk"
- Jason Beatty
(link)
"If I were to wake up and find [her] lips wrapped around my cock, I might
not have kicked her off right away."
- Joe Doyle Ardent on being extremely horny
(link)
And the answer to svgalib as a whole is 'before installing this package read back 2 years of bugtraq and tell me why you are installing it'
"It's supposed to be France, that's why it looks so shitty."
- Ari Gordon-Schlossberg on Frantic
(link)
<[Ender]> Pardon me, but WHERE can I find the pavillion of
COMPLETELY
<[Ender]> INCONSEQUENTIAL RANDOM ACTIVITY?
<[Ender]> -- Zippy the Pinhead
<flatlandr> Ender: #uiuc
- Jason Lindquist, Paul Watts
(link)
"I don't know, it's just something g0ff mentioned someone trying to do
once. It's just kinda funny.... and it's not even about Rami."
- Sean O'Connor on the phrase "You can't recycle combos"
(link)
"permission denied? I'm going to kill you! Wait,
I'm root. Oh wait, I can't write to /proc."
- Sean O'Connor on his troubles with ftp(1)
(link)
On one hand, I like what companies like Microsoft have done to make computing easier for the masses. On the other hand, they do so much for the user, the user doesn't really have to learn anything, thus they start to ACCEPT what is given to them and lose a lot of creativity.
"Oh look, it's a GIMP clone!"
- Mike Khalili
(link)
"ACM needs bigger members."
- Sean O'Connor
(link)
<lemson> i'm afraid I don't remmeber much about those
times
<lemson> i was mostly drunk when I was on IRC
- David Lemson
(link)
<deraadt> something is being missed
<deraadt> openbsd is about quality.
<deraadt> it's not about talking nicely to irc kidz
<deraadt> fuck the irc kidz
<deraadt> if they want quality, they'll know where to go
<deraadt> i don't care beyond that
- Theo de Raadt
(link)
* misaochan screams at IE4 and win98
<misaochan> if i want webpages on my desktop, i'll
screencapture an rxvt running lynx and xv it onto the root window
- Victoria
(link)
Yeah, I've got some dangerous meat in my hands. Or something.
*ChromeLii!benjy@lucien.dreaming.blight.com* I shall kick ass and
write a perl script to take names
- Benjy Feen
(link)
<misaochan> daijobu!@$!@$ i'm going to be jailbait when i grow
up!@$
- Victoria
(link)
"You have the pussiest arm hair I've ever seen!"
"I have the armiest pussy hair you've ever seen..."
- Me, Kate Hellenga
(link)
"y'all are going to attribute this to me being drunk,
but really it's just me letting go."
- Ari Gordon-Schlossberg
(link)
<Ark> I like unix cuz of command ilnes like this:
<Ark> kgarner ttyp3 ~ [2]:nice top
- Keith Garner
(link)
<recursive> I think misha has replaced himself with an AI, but
one with not much I
- Mike Magin
(link)
<Aleph> I don't think they use Photoshop in National
Geographic magazine.
- Joe Doyle Ardent on why Elizabeth Shue's breasts can go past her knees
(link)
"Or you could get a t-shirt that says 'Nuke a gay NT box for Christ.'"
- Chris Manrique on this
(link)
<Groogroo> he can't give it away beforehand?
<Groogroo> "hahaha! you can't have my soul, Mr.
Ballmer...I don't have one! Where are the free sodas?"
- Matt Williams on keeping your soul out of Microsoft's clutches
(link)
"Man, if we were smoking weed, we'd be in the Netherlands."
- Robert John Michael Bertsche
(link)
<lemson> i want to write the Microsoft 8 ball says:
<lemson> The Microsoft 8-ball replies to TanAdept: Where Do You Want To Go Today?
<TanAdept> The Magic Kosh-ball replies to lemson: Do not ask
that question.
- David Lemson, Geoff Raye
(link)
"Did you hear about the guy who had german-japanese food? Half an hour
later, he was hungry for power."
"Whoa, did that joke just come out of Criswell?"
- Jen Sandone
(link)
- ajay, on IRC
(link)
"All vaginas look the same, but breasts are infinately varied."
"Ahh young one, you have so much to learn."
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Chris Stillson
(link)
<Lone-Wolf> lets take some LSD, go see Small Soldiers and then
go to toys are us
- Brian White
(link)
"I think I've given enough to society, society should get me a home
theater system."
- Jeff Thompson
(link)
"Anne, you're weird."
- Joe Doyle Ardent
(link)
"I'm talking about two artists and all the sudden I look up and see
Sean deep-throating a bottle."
- Larry Schrof
(link)
"Hang out on irc and you won't miss so many social opportunities."
- Joe Gross
(link)
<Ark> I should write a quick web cam
<Ark> whoops
<Ark> I meant to say
<Ark> SHAKE THAT BOOTY
- Keith Garner
(link)
<seano> some day I will disseminate so many stupid quotes
throughout the web, that no employer will ever have me!
Muuuuuuuuuahahahahah
- Sean O'Connor
(link)
"And yet, it still had more plot than 'Lost In Space.'"
- Chris Manrique on Spice World
(link)
- Brian Swetland
(link)
<jetfire> like, we have a special mailbox for thank you mail
<jetfire> it's extremely small
- Vik Adukia on being a UIUC student cluster admin
(link)
<jetfire> the nice thing about sitting at home drinking is that
there is no closing time
<jetfire> until the alcohol runs out
<Mal-2> you're supposed to keep enough alcohol on hand for at
least three days, in case of an earthquake
<Mal-2> or maybe that's canned food...
- Vik Adukia, Brian Swetland
(link)
"Bill is a total fucking dork. Buy his book."
- Jeff Thompson on this
(link)
"if this were real porn there would be two women there"
- Adam "Ally Mc" Beal
(link)
"Just because it's taught by a professor doesn't mean it isn't garbage."
- Mike Daniels
(link)
<ir0nic> It would be cool if people laid eggs instead of
live-birthing. THen, instead of getting an abortion, you could just
make an omlet.
- Joe Doyle Ardent
(link)
"I could buy a pound of ground beef and just eat it."
- Liz Pacini
(link)
"Don't do the lesbians til we get back."
- Anne Nowinski
(link)
"...I decided to learn how to code in perl out of necessity.
In
going to the bookstore, the first book I picked up was Perl Programming
for Dummies. Although it seems like a good book, I saw a chapter
entitled 'Ten reasons why perl is better than Java.' I quickly put that
book back on the shelf. After all, everyone knows that Java is the world's
finest programming language.... As you will see here, Perl is an incredibly
cryptic and hard to learn language at first, second and third glances."
- Joseph DiBella
(link)
"You know solaris doesn't do this."
"What?"
"Randomly blue screen."
- Chris Stillson, Me
(link)
<Mal2> someone should bludgeon him to death with the python
manual
- Brian Swetland
(link)
<Kaleid> hee. My uterus is not bound by the laws of physics.
- Jenn Wilson
(link)
<[Ender]> I personally don't think it's worth the effort to
design and test. Just run sudo or the like and let people use telnet
like God intended
<Fun-Boy> Is that an Old Testament or New Testament thing?
<Fun-Boy> I can't find "telnet" in my concordance.
- Jason Lindquist, Jon Roma
(link)
<Ch1XenZz> man, i shouldn't be reading snow crash and
looking for suburban housing at the same time
- Greg Fast
(link)
You can do neat tricks with the sh-style redirection, like reversing
stdout and stderr's filehandles, or sending them to odd locations. UNIX
is neato.
- Geoff Raye, on uiuc.sw.linux
(link)
*halfman* besides, if i want something
that's high maintenace i'll choose a woman over linux
- Jason Beatty
(link)
Yesterday, I noticed that I had a filling in one of my teeth.
I didn't know I had any.
- Geoff Raye, on uiuc.test
(link)
The time for civility is over; the time for hooliganism is nigh.
- Tom Mary Lunarwolf Dobrowolsky
(link)
"And it smells like sysadmin in there."
- Sean O'Connor on the last HoF party
(link)
<mrw> groobot: don't crash.
*** Signoff: Groobot (EOF From client)
<mrw> he can't follow instructions yet.
- Matt Williams
(link)
<Lion_Blue> If I were a white rapper I would be
"notorious drip".
- Charley Kline
(link)
*** flatlandr has changed the topic on channel #uiuc to Anne is a horny
college boy!
<aynn> you wish paul
- Paul Watts, Anne Nowinski
(link)
"...but broken legacy systems like solaris..."
- Joe Gross
(link)
"A man, a plan, a canoe, pasta, hero's rajahs, a coloratura, maps, snipe,
percale, macaroni, a gag, a banana bag, a tan, a cat, a mane, paper, a Toyota,
rep, a pen, a mat, a can, a tag, a banana bag again, or: a camel, a crepe,
pins, spam, a rut, a Rolo, cash, a jar, sore hats, a peon, a canal, Panama!"
"That sounds like a Yes song."
- Geoff Raye, Margaret Post
(link)
"I should add that to /etc/issue, since i don't have a quotes page."
- Dave Redinger
(link)
"I don't really have any reason for thinking the way I do."
- John Criswell
(link)
"I used to complain that the world isn't fair. Then I thought, wouldn't
it be so much worse if the world were fair, and all these terrible things
that happen to us happen because we deserve them."
- J. Michael Straczynski as Marcus Cole, "A Late Delivery From Avalon", Babylon 5 Season 3
(link)
"You know, I've worked here a lot longer than you have. If I killed you,
they wouldn't fire me."
- Chris Stillson on someone other than me
(link)
"If he were a real hacker, he wouldn't always be complaining about being
broke."
- Joe Gross
(link)
<miffy> i want food NOW
<miffy> here kitty kitty
- Sarah Shockley Garner
(link)
"Congratulations, you're our 1 millionth cancer victim! Here's a T shirt!"
- Gianni Cutri
(link)
<spruance> later bar hours is cool only for those people who
have trouble shacking.
- Mark Notarus
(link)
<lemson> BIN YOW sounds like a chinese restaurant dish
- David Lemson
(link)
"Breakfast is my favorite meal... especially after the bars close."
- Jason Alt
(link)
"I can get any pussy on it's back."
- Paul Watts on his ... roommate's cat?
(link)
<whoops> i'm beginning to really like outlook 98.. it's huge, but it's a nice product.
<BadAsh> like my ass
- KC Lympson, Mark Ashton
(link)
<chromelii> note that calling an attacker lame is not an
approved security method
- Benjy Feen
(link)
"And yet, if I had to fuck her to save her life, she would die."
- anonymous
(link)
"If it was a private club we could have topless dancers...."
"Evil topless dancers?"
"An.. EVIL topless dancer." (in an awesome Austin Powers voice)
"Dude, you could pick up so many chicks with that."
- Joe Doyle Ardent, Anne Nowinski
(link)
<awacs> the whole "buy self-deprecating books"thing has gotten
out of hand
<awacs> soon, we'll have the "TOTAL FLAMING BUTTMUNCH's guide
to NT"
<spruance> I WROTE the drooling mongoloid series, you copyright
violator
- Sean O'Connor, Mark Notarus
(link)
*** meekay has been kicked off channel #uiuc by Mal-2 (your ass is not an open standard)
- Brian Swetland
(link)
<Ark> warez for me...warez for you
<ChromeLi> warez for every wop and jew
- Keith Garner, Benjy Feen
(link)
"A 24 inch dual headed penis."
- Anne Nowinski
(link)
"Passionate buttsex on my hand."
- Anne Nowinski
(link)
"Except for that week of passionate buttsex."
- Colleen Noonan
(link)
<ChromeLii> My little girls will start kung fu at age 4
<Ark> my kids are gonna be sex maniacs
<ChromeLii> ark: That's why my little girls are going to start kung fu at age 4
- Benjy Feen, Keith Garner
(link)
<Mal-2> perl simply allows you to do everything in about 10
different ways
<Mal-2> thus you can type random junk and it tends to do the
right thing just because
<Mal-2> I am told that this is a feature.
- Brian Swetland
(link)
"They're missing the first word from the book of Job -- it should be 'blow' Job."
- Joe Doyle Ardent
(link)
<SplatMan> Follow your dreams. You can accomplish your goals. Muffdive. MUFFDIVE!@($*&!(@*
- Me
(link)
- Stilgar, on #nethack
(link)
* ChromeLi drinks an Old Cherry
<opus> how old is she???
- Benjy Feen, Chris Stamborski
(link)
* Mal2 celebrates his ex-roman-catholicism by swearing at java
- Brian Swetland
(link)
- Matt Williams
(link)
<Ark> The Guide checks through its Sub-Etha-Net database and
eventually comes up with the following entry:
<Ark> Nads
- Keith Garner
(link)
<Mal-2> he who controls microsoft is a sack of shit
- Brian Swetland
(link)
<mrw> and if you don't show up, you're dead...procmailed to
/dev/null with a 30-inch baseball bat
- Matt Williams
(link)
"20 years later it's still a classic."
- Skip Cole
(link)
<ivylotus> air: there is a holy booty trinity..
<ivylotus> butt
<ivylotus> sex
<ivylotus> and that which can dance
- Matt Ivaliotes
(link)
<aynn> this movie doesnt even make me horny and mary poppins
makes me horny
- Anne Nowinski
(link)
<aynn> when i was a teenager i was celibate i hop i NEVER
have sex like a teenager again
- Anne Nowinski
(link)
KC Smith <kcsmith@cm.math.uiuc.edu> wrote: >we're all going to live in the same world together without spontaneously >combusting. That is truly weird, no? :) Yeah, what a relei*BOOM*
Aren't you glad Guinness is caffeine free?
- Mike Magin, on uiuc.org.asm
(link)
<stuffas> anyone who says that is woefully underinformed
<stuffas> ie, reads usenet
- Sean O'Connor
(link)
<collision> yomama's so misc, that when she goes to the dollar
store, they think she's for sale
- Mark Roth
(link)
<GoodAsh> hmmm...how do I set my clock? It is totally wrong
<TimeWaste> goodash: Press the "hour" button
- Mark Ashton, David Lemson
(link)
<stuffas> I think I can effectively model this problem useing
the "drink grape soda and stall" method.
- Sean O'Connor
(link)
<Ark> why isn't this working
<stuffas> did you forget to add the
-FUCKING-WORK-GODDAMMIT in the CFLAGS?
<Ark> no, its java :)
<Ark> i forgot to import
java.lang.fucking.work.Goddammit;
- Keith Garner, Sean O'Connor
(link)
If God can create a beer too disgusting for Him to drink, then there is something He cannot drink. If God cannot create a beer too disgusting for Him to drink, then there is something He cannot create. If there is something He cannot drink, then He is not omnipotent. If there is something He cannot create, then He is not omnipotent. Therefore God should not go to Kam's. Paul
<Ark> I DON'T WANNA WORK
<Ark> I WANNA BANG ON THESE DRUMS ALL DAY
<Ark> I DON'T WANNA WANK
<Ark> I WANNA BANG ON THESE CHICKS ALL DAY
- Keith Garner
(link)
<ChromeLi> Oh god, someone just edited a quotes page.
- Benjy Feen
(link)
<SplatMan> sober: while(!drunk()) {drink(1);} while(drunk())
{fuck();} goto sober;
<ChromeLi> Impregnation fault
<ChromeLi> Whore dumped.
- Me, Benjy Feen
(link)
<aynn> this poetry crap is the only thing im egotisical about
<aynn> that and blowjobs
- Anne Nowinski
(link)
*** Bohr has changed the topic on channel #uiuc to So many stupid people, so
few comets
- Byron Faber
(link)
"I think Microsoft is the new version of the communist party."
"Communism was more efficient."
- Skip Cole, Chris Manrique
(link)
<stuffas> See me
<stuffas> feel me
<stuffas> touch me
<stuffas> heal me
<stuffas> goto 10
- Sean O'Connor
(link)
<ErisE> i never understood 'your mom' jokes
<ErisE> if someone joked to me that my mother was good in bed,
i'd be like 'go mom!'
- Victoria
(link)
"I'm really not the best person at technical writing. I tend to use
'blah, blah, blah' and 'yada yada yada' too much."
- Skip Cole (Argus Technical Writer)
(link)
So I was thinking about analogies to astronomical distances, you know, like those things where if the Sun is a basketball, then the Earth is a peppercorn 150 feet away, or something, and I thought of relating the solar system to the height of a person. Well, it didn't take long with an elementary Astronomy text and a spreadsheet program to work out some interesting facts: If you put the Sun at the top of your head and Pluto at the bottom of your feet, then Neptune is about where your knees are, and the inner four planets (Mercury, Venus, Earth, and Mars) are all located above your neck. Best of all, though, is that Uranus is located, well, yeah.
<Mal-2> they're all ultrasparcs or javastations
<Mal-2> unfortunately your screensaver is tied to some bizzare
platform we've never heard of
- Brian Swetland on why he couldn't install Colleen Noonan's Windows screen saver at a client site
(link)
<Hoosier> Dammit, cute girls should not be allowed to eat those
hard candy blow pop thingys....
- Corey Betka
(link)
<airpump> Benj: if you won't moind me asking - what is your
disability specifically ?
<ChromeLi> Excess of Funk
- Larry Schrof, Benjy Feen
(link)
<a-irani> does someone know the dial in number for uiuc so i
can get into netscape
<TimeWaste> a-irani you need the netscape password
- some dude, David Lemson, on #uiuc
(link)
"Mom, kitty installed token ring again!"
"Then I know a kitty-kitty who's sleeping with IBM tonight!"
- Sean O'Connor, Geoff Raye
(link)
<Mal-2> OpenBLT Release I is booting :-)
<Mal-2> BLT = Brian's Lightweight Tasker or Bacon Lettuce and
Threads
<Mal-2> to increase the hype, I'm gonna release a bunch of BLT
variants (NetBLT, FreeBLT, BLT386, etc) and create artificial
rivalries
- Brian Swetland
(link)
<renice> dave, weren't you going to get some?
- KC Lympson (obviously delusional)
(link)
<cvk> the girls of AXO bitched that they were slower than
everyone else, but we told them "you canna change the laws of
physics, lassie."
- Charley Kline
(link)
jluther@uiuc.edu (Jason Luther) writes:
>IBM is making the Internet safe for me.
Microsoft is making the Internet a big fucking annoyance for me.
- Laura Zurawski, on uiuc.test
(link)
<SplatMan> our beverage fridge has beer and squirt
<miffy> drink the beer, throw the squirt out, and get MD
- Me, Sarah Shockley Garner
(link)
Guess what, Vik? If Xenia Onatopp had tried to crush
Moore between her legs, Moore would have gone "Gosh, I'm
an old fuck" and died.
- Matt Williams, on uiuc.test
(link)
"Oh, I forgot this is a finite playing field."
"Famous last words."
- Sean O'Connor, Geoff Raye on Bushido Blade [demo]
(link)
- jawed
(link)
<mrw> and when there's nobody lower than you...you can come
onto channel and somebody will be dumb, and you can go "gosh, at
least I'm not *THAT* big a loser."
- Matt Williams on #uiuc, on #uiuc
(link)
<ayn> when the moon hits your eye and it bleeds
and pops out and it falls on the ground and a bird comes
and eats it thats AMORE
<ayn> love sucks
- Anne Nowinski
(link)
- Matt Williams
(link)
<trilobyte> i just sent email to unsubscribe from am IBM
software mailing list, and 15 seconds later, i received confirmation.
<trilobyte> sometimes i forget this isn't FidoNet
- trilobyte, on #dto
(link)
i have to call god he forgot to send me my penis
- Anne Nowinski, on uiuc.test
(link)
<shady> there used to be a blormal radio segment called "rj can
hold two liters" .. i'd drink an entire two liter bottle in 10
minutes and almost puke my guts out.
<shady> we were quite bored.
<shady> we also had a segment called "rj wins the lottery" and
"rj with a lot of stuff in his mouth."
- Robert John Michael Bertsche
(link)
<cabingirl> maybe everyone should stop quoting and start saying
profound things of theirown.
- Laura McMasters
(link)
Note that "metaphysical" is here being used as a synonym for
"dope-smokingly stupid".
- Joe Doyle Ardent, on uiuc.test
(link)
*** moogle has changed the topic on channel #uiuc to No route to ass.
Connection refused.
- Fred
(link)
<mrw> I always thought that having a chick bite my lip when
kissing me was worth whatever emotional stresses that the dating
scene put me under
- Matt Williams
(link)
: : In my day, we only got to see one character at a time and that was only : : after we had put on strange glasses that we had to fashion out of little : : pieces of paper and aluminum foil. And we liked it!! : : : : Vikram "grumpy old man" Adukia : : In my day we only could see half of the character, and didn't even have : the paper and alumininum foil. We had to cut down trees and use dirt. : : And we liked it!!! Back in my day we couldn't see any of the character. As a matter of fact we didn't even have computers!! We had to sit out in the sun a watch naked ladies frollicking around on the beach. And we liked it!!!!
<Ark> everyone is looking for sex
* air2 is not
* air2 listens for sex
<air2> 'cause he can't see
- Keith Garner, Larry Schrof
(link)
<Bohr> very very very very very alpha
<Bohr> i.e. it runs for several minutes
- Byron Faber on GNU Hurd
(link)
<air2> My ex is engaged
<air2> and I feel so sorry for the dumbass that is going to
marry her
- Larry Schrof
(link)
<ChromeLi> Women suck, women are evil.
<ChromeLi> It's completely inexplicable. For some reason, they
aren't irresistably attracted to me. Bitches.
<ChromeLi> How dare they not wanna do me from the first moment
we meet.
<ChromeLi> It's totally disrespectful of them to have minds of
their own.
<ChromeLi> I resent their dignity and self-respect.
- Benjy Feen
(link)
"So I was fucking this guy the other day. And he starts saying
'no'. And I'm like 'what the fuck, bitch! I BOUGHT YOU DINNER!'"
- Colleen Noonan
(link)
"The only thing that matters in life is land. And Blood. And
getting crocked off yer arse before 10 in the marnin'."
- Joe Doyle Ardent (interview with a Far and Away Vampyre)
(link)
"I hate it when women leave the toilet seat down."
- Joe Gross
(link)
"No matter how beautiful she is, someone, somewhere, is sick of her shit."
- seen on a stall wall in the English Building
(link)